Imagine
there is a large block of ice, inside is a jewel, a beautiful sparkling, and
glittering jewel. We cannot always see this jewel, but we know it is there. We
have felt it, seen it, been taken to moments of wonder by it. This jewel has
always existed and always will. No matter how hidden it is, it always remains a
jewel. Even if coated with dust and grime by decades of neglect all this jewel
needs is a little attention to sparkle again.
The jewel
is the jewel of a joyful life. It is the jewel of a life lived with meaning and
fulfilment. It is a life where angst and confusion have been replaced by ease
and clarity. This jewel exists within us all and is our birth-right.
We may
sense this jewel inside ourselves and wonder how we can enjoy its presence in
our lives more than we do. It may seem like our life is not blessed with this
jewel that sparkles. How can we experience this jewel of joy when we have a
mortgage to pay, possibility of losing our job, or somebody we love leaves us?
This jewel may seem to us at other times that it doesn’t exist at all – that it
is just a fairy story.
The clue to
why we don’t experience this jewel fully in our lives is in the fact that this
jewel is embedded in the block of ice. Now if we have something in a block of
ice how do we go about getting it out? If this jewel were buried in rock then
we would have to smash the rock to release it, and damage the rock in the
process. However, to release something from ice is a very different matter. We
just put the ice in the sun; we allow the sun to melt the ice and whatever it
is that lives within it will at some point be revealed to us. This is similar
to the process that we must engage in for us to experience the jewel of joy
more fully in our lives, and it is what mindfulness is all about. Mindfulness
is like the sun, it melts and heals what it shines upon.
If this ice
is what is stopping us from experiencing the jewel of joy then what exactly is
it and how do we melt the ice through mindfulness.
The ice is
basically our resistance to how life is in any moment. The ice is made up of
our rigid views and judgements that life should be a certain way and should be free from pain. For example,
when somebody criticises us what we tend to do is to go over and over what they
said and go into blaming them for how we feel, or perhaps blaming ourselves for not being good enough. This is one way we build up the
block of ice. In this scenario we are reluctant to experience our own hurt. The
moment we let go of our blaming thoughts and tend to the feeling of hurt the
ice begins to melt. The mindful experiencing of sorrow itself melts the ice. Of
course we may also decide to say something to that person but if we are willing
to work with our anger then what we say will be much more considered.
Another way
we build up the block of ice is to try and keep away any painful feelings from
the past. For example, we may feel sad about something that has happened to us,
but because we feel uncomfortable about feeling sad we “freeze” out that
experience. I have met many people in my work who think that feeling sad (or
any other difficult emotion) is bad, for whatever reason. They believe if they
feel sad it means there is something wrong with them or their life. However,
sadness is a natural human emotion and is there to be experienced. If we don’t
learn to turn toward our emotions with mindfulness and kindness we distance
ourselves from the jewel and experience only the ice.
A joyful
life does not mean we don’t experience pain. Paradoxically, pain is a facet of
the jewel, but we make it into ice by trying to deny it, trying desperately to
make it go away or by taking it personally. What we tend to do is to experience
pain which is a facet of the jewel and then create suffering – the block of ice
surrounding it.
So to melt
the ice and allow the jewel to bring you more joy we can notice our rigid views such as: “I don’t want this to be happening.” “Life shouldn’t
be like this.” “My life will never be the same again.” Learn to let them go and come into the
present moment which is simple and never complicated. Turn toward your
experience as it is, hearing, tasting, smelling, seeing and feeling without
your mental and emotional overlay and you will be slowly melting the ice that
keeps you from living a stress free, joy filled life.
To learn mindfulness with an experienced teacher see our website
No comments:
Post a Comment